**Thanks to HomeSlice and Ellies_Mom for the idea, which I quickly poached for my own purposes. If anyone has questions for me, let me know and I will add them here.**
Let's start out with the basics. Where are you in your life right now? I have heard a few things...
Did it involve a burro and a jar of honey? I don't know what you heard, but... um... it's probably not true.
Let's see... I'm 28 years old. I'm an Aries, if that matters. I act like an Aries for the most part. *looking it up* I see my sign described as headstrong, courageous, a leader, a fighter for what is important, impatient, stubborn, warm... the list goes on, because of course I am so complex. An enigma wrapped in a conundrum. Muahahaha!
My life before my son is hazy. I'm glad it is. I remember getting married, I think. Dave may have drugged me for that one! But then I had my son. He has turned my life upside down, but in a good way! Maybe I needed that. It's been the single most rewarding and frustrating thing I've ever had to do, and I'm learning a lot about myself and my limits. Of course I had to have a headstrong, stubborn, impatient child, right? Oh wait... he's an Aries too.
As you already know, I currently reside in Sydney, Australia, but am mostly from the South Bay of the San Francisco Bay Area. San Ho w00t w00t!
A burro? No, actually I heard something about a hamster and a paper towel roll. What about the burro?!
You must be confusing me with somebody else.
Um... suuure. Okay, let's see. I like to start off questions with "fans would like to know," but you have none so I'm sort of out on a limb here. So let's ask you this: how would a good friend describe you?
For this act, I will try to tap into my best friend's brain. We are psychically connected, you know. We even menstruate at the same time. Honestly. It's really nice to have someone on the rag at the same time as me. We can be raging bitches together.
That's... fantastic.
Hmmm.. *reading brain* hey, that wasn't my fault! Oh, I'm allowed to edit what I'm reading from her, right? Okay, I'm hearing that I'm dead sexy, clever as hell, possess a rad sense of humor, reasonable, and fair. She also claims I'm smart and honest. I tried to dig deeper for something bad, but she says I'm only too smart for my own good, and that I have a lot of quirks, like being insecure. I think she is just extremely gay for me.
Okay, I lied, I asked her on IM. I'm not psychic.
*blank stare* Okay. Let's wrap this up with one last question. If you could change something about your personality, what would it be?
I'm irresistible. I just wish people would stop trying to have sex with me every damn place I go! Even birds follow me down the street, courting me. People on the streets break out into serenade when I walk by. My life is like a musical.
*Laughs* Oh, I'm kidding. That hasn't happened since I was in my early twenties, at least. These days, I guess I would say I wish I could be more patient. I'm terribly impatient, which is helpful if... actually, it's never really helpful.
Oh, but something honest here regarding strangers wanting to have sex with me... when I was 19 or so I went to visit my family in Malaysia. My mom, grandmother, and I went to this outdoor produce market, and a guy working at a stall asked my grandmother for my hand in marriage. My grandmother was so pissed she took me straight home and covered my hands in henna (in a pattern indicating I was to be married) so that we could go out without being hit on. Crazy produce man! He had no idea what was under that dead sexy packaging.
Thank you for saving the one funny story for the end. Maybe my eyes will stop watering out of boredom now. And that concludes this interview. May god grant us this never happens again.
------------------
HomeSlice asks: oh, one question - how did you end up in sydney? is your husband australian? will nevan have that sexy accent? dish it please.
My husband's company offered him the chance to move to their Sydney office. Hmm... stay in San Jose, or move to Sydney? Let me consider that for a whole two seconds. So here we are! It's a gorgeous place to live.
Davey-wavy (aka my ball and chain) is from Milpitas, CA. Talk about exotic!
Let's all cross our fingers that Nevan grows up to have an Aussie accent! Right now he sounds American, but I have known a few families where the parents share the same accent but the child grows up where there is a different one. The kid always picks up the foreign accent. Of course, if he does and we move back to the US, I won't be able to keep the girls off him! I'll have to buy an electric cattleprod.
Wondercat asks: Have you ever regretted something you didn't do? And if a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, does it still make a sound? (And do the other trees make fun of it?)
There have been a few things I regret not having done. I left USF just short of graduating. I had so much going on I just had to. I tell ya, burros take a lot of attention. I had intended to go back the next semester, but then I got wrapped up in work. That was when I was a screener at Disney, viewing porn for money. Oh yes, you read that right. For some reason the name "Disney" makes sick people throw their hands up in joy and say "YES! FINALLY a place I can post all those pictures of my someone stomping on my balls with high heels!" Anyhow, not completing my degree my biggest regret, and I will finish it someday.
And of course a falling tree makes a sound. It sounds like this "AIIIEEE HELP ME! I've fallen and I can't get up!". The other trees will mock the fallen one relentlessly "TIIIIMBER! THAR SHE BLOWS" are common insults.
Wondercat asks (again!): What is UP with the burros?! Please please PLEASE just be misspelling 'burritos'.
Oh! I totally meant burritos. Riiiiight. Delicious, furry burritos.
MinneapolisMom asks: SO, my question is this...what did YOU do before marriage and Nevan?
That's a great question, Minne. Let's just say the hamster helped me to make a lot of money in my college days. Did you mean jobs?
No seriously though, I went to High School. Barely graduated because I was a frequent truant and often refused to dress for PE. That's right, I did sports in the buff! My teacher wasn't pleased, but my fellow students didn't seem to mind!
My first job was selling at PatioWorld, selling... you guessed it! Patio furniture. I wish I was making that up to be funny. If you saw the look on my face as I type this you would realize it's completely true. I was going to a community college at the time, so it worked out. My boss was a complete cokehead freak and she ended up on Judge Judy once. She was suing over her fake boobs (long story). I am dying to find that episode.
I soon became sick of working for the cokehead patio manager, so I got a job at Pier 1 Imports. That was an awesome job! I am a shelf straightening, furniture toting, cashier extraordinaire I did fracture my wrist lugging a chest on my last day, but alas, I look back on the pain fondly.
I then worked as an assistant manager at Stanford University's dining and catering department. I hated it. It was a temp position, but when that was over they offered me a perm job. Only an idiot turns down a good job, so I'm an idiot.
I then got a job at Infoseek (later turned into GO.com through Disney), starting off as a screener as previously mentioned, and eventually ended up the Graveyard shift supervisor. I moved schools to USF, working on my degree of Biology with a concentration in forensic pathology. My dream job was as a special agent for the FBI. They told me they would pay me in .... burritos. Yes, burritos. That was okay with me.
Eventually I left school. I then got hired at Yahoo!, Inc. as an Auctions Abuse Specialist. I dealt in fraud and online abuse, specifically in auctions but had to deal with all properties. I wrote a lot of policies, wrote a lot of FAQs and pre-formatted responses, did a lot of training others. Even got to dabble in the design of some property pages.
I was at Y! for four years before I left for maternity leave and never looked back! The rest is history...
Let's start out with the basics. Where are you in your life right now? I have heard a few things...
Did it involve a burro and a jar of honey? I don't know what you heard, but... um... it's probably not true.
Let's see... I'm 28 years old. I'm an Aries, if that matters. I act like an Aries for the most part. *looking it up* I see my sign described as headstrong, courageous, a leader, a fighter for what is important, impatient, stubborn, warm... the list goes on, because of course I am so complex. An enigma wrapped in a conundrum. Muahahaha!
My life before my son is hazy. I'm glad it is. I remember getting married, I think. Dave may have drugged me for that one! But then I had my son. He has turned my life upside down, but in a good way! Maybe I needed that. It's been the single most rewarding and frustrating thing I've ever had to do, and I'm learning a lot about myself and my limits. Of course I had to have a headstrong, stubborn, impatient child, right? Oh wait... he's an Aries too.
As you already know, I currently reside in Sydney, Australia, but am mostly from the South Bay of the San Francisco Bay Area. San Ho w00t w00t!
A burro? No, actually I heard something about a hamster and a paper towel roll. What about the burro?!
You must be confusing me with somebody else.
Um... suuure. Okay, let's see. I like to start off questions with "fans would like to know," but you have none so I'm sort of out on a limb here. So let's ask you this: how would a good friend describe you?
For this act, I will try to tap into my best friend's brain. We are psychically connected, you know. We even menstruate at the same time. Honestly. It's really nice to have someone on the rag at the same time as me. We can be raging bitches together.
That's... fantastic.
Hmmm.. *reading brain* hey, that wasn't my fault! Oh, I'm allowed to edit what I'm reading from her, right? Okay, I'm hearing that I'm dead sexy, clever as hell, possess a rad sense of humor, reasonable, and fair. She also claims I'm smart and honest. I tried to dig deeper for something bad, but she says I'm only too smart for my own good, and that I have a lot of quirks, like being insecure. I think she is just extremely gay for me.
Okay, I lied, I asked her on IM. I'm not psychic.
*blank stare* Okay. Let's wrap this up with one last question. If you could change something about your personality, what would it be?
I'm irresistible. I just wish people would stop trying to have sex with me every damn place I go! Even birds follow me down the street, courting me. People on the streets break out into serenade when I walk by. My life is like a musical.
*Laughs* Oh, I'm kidding. That hasn't happened since I was in my early twenties, at least. These days, I guess I would say I wish I could be more patient. I'm terribly impatient, which is helpful if... actually, it's never really helpful.
Oh, but something honest here regarding strangers wanting to have sex with me... when I was 19 or so I went to visit my family in Malaysia. My mom, grandmother, and I went to this outdoor produce market, and a guy working at a stall asked my grandmother for my hand in marriage. My grandmother was so pissed she took me straight home and covered my hands in henna (in a pattern indicating I was to be married) so that we could go out without being hit on. Crazy produce man! He had no idea what was under that dead sexy packaging.
Thank you for saving the one funny story for the end. Maybe my eyes will stop watering out of boredom now. And that concludes this interview. May god grant us this never happens again.
------------------
HomeSlice asks: oh, one question - how did you end up in sydney? is your husband australian? will nevan have that sexy accent? dish it please.
My husband's company offered him the chance to move to their Sydney office. Hmm... stay in San Jose, or move to Sydney? Let me consider that for a whole two seconds. So here we are! It's a gorgeous place to live.
Davey-wavy (aka my ball and chain) is from Milpitas, CA. Talk about exotic!
Let's all cross our fingers that Nevan grows up to have an Aussie accent! Right now he sounds American, but I have known a few families where the parents share the same accent but the child grows up where there is a different one. The kid always picks up the foreign accent. Of course, if he does and we move back to the US, I won't be able to keep the girls off him! I'll have to buy an electric cattleprod.
Wondercat asks: Have you ever regretted something you didn't do? And if a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, does it still make a sound? (And do the other trees make fun of it?)
There have been a few things I regret not having done. I left USF just short of graduating. I had so much going on I just had to. I tell ya, burros take a lot of attention. I had intended to go back the next semester, but then I got wrapped up in work. That was when I was a screener at Disney, viewing porn for money. Oh yes, you read that right. For some reason the name "Disney" makes sick people throw their hands up in joy and say "YES! FINALLY a place I can post all those pictures of my someone stomping on my balls with high heels!" Anyhow, not completing my degree my biggest regret, and I will finish it someday.
And of course a falling tree makes a sound. It sounds like this "AIIIEEE HELP ME! I've fallen and I can't get up!". The other trees will mock the fallen one relentlessly "TIIIIMBER! THAR SHE BLOWS" are common insults.
Wondercat asks (again!): What is UP with the burros?! Please please PLEASE just be misspelling 'burritos'.
Oh! I totally meant burritos. Riiiiight. Delicious, furry burritos.
MinneapolisMom asks: SO, my question is this...what did YOU do before marriage and Nevan?
That's a great question, Minne. Let's just say the hamster helped me to make a lot of money in my college days. Did you mean jobs?
No seriously though, I went to High School. Barely graduated because I was a frequent truant and often refused to dress for PE. That's right, I did sports in the buff! My teacher wasn't pleased, but my fellow students didn't seem to mind!
My first job was selling at PatioWorld, selling... you guessed it! Patio furniture. I wish I was making that up to be funny. If you saw the look on my face as I type this you would realize it's completely true. I was going to a community college at the time, so it worked out. My boss was a complete cokehead freak and she ended up on Judge Judy once. She was suing over her fake boobs (long story). I am dying to find that episode.
I soon became sick of working for the cokehead patio manager, so I got a job at Pier 1 Imports. That was an awesome job! I am a shelf straightening, furniture toting, cashier extraordinaire I did fracture my wrist lugging a chest on my last day, but alas, I look back on the pain fondly.
I then worked as an assistant manager at Stanford University's dining and catering department. I hated it. It was a temp position, but when that was over they offered me a perm job. Only an idiot turns down a good job, so I'm an idiot.
I then got a job at Infoseek (later turned into GO.com through Disney), starting off as a screener as previously mentioned, and eventually ended up the Graveyard shift supervisor. I moved schools to USF, working on my degree of Biology with a concentration in forensic pathology. My dream job was as a special agent for the FBI. They told me they would pay me in .... burritos. Yes, burritos. That was okay with me.
Eventually I left school. I then got hired at Yahoo!, Inc. as an Auctions Abuse Specialist. I dealt in fraud and online abuse, specifically in auctions but had to deal with all properties. I wrote a lot of policies, wrote a lot of FAQs and pre-formatted responses, did a lot of training others. Even got to dabble in the design of some property pages.
I was at Y! for four years before I left for maternity leave and never looked back! The rest is history...
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